Day 5

Hi everyone, Steph reporting here! Well, I came home yesterday (Sunday) at around 4:00 pm. That morning I woke up and one of the greatest things happened. Let me just tell you, I have never in my life been more excited to "pass gas". I am so not kidding. I called to Ryan and my words exactly were "Ry, I just farted and it was the most beautiful sound". My apologies go out to those who are offended--but it's true! I even was excited to tell all my nurses (although sadly, I could never manage to perform on the spot). By the way, Jaron I wanted to call you but I knew you would make me laugh and laughing is pure painful now.

I'll be honest. The past few days have been excruciatingly painful. I never imagined it to be like this. I still have a bunch of air in my middle that has been very very slowly escaping, but the pain is still there tonight. Each day it gets a tiny bit better. I know I need to be patient. My incisions are small and if I were to show them to anyone, they probably wouldn't believe I was in so much pain. They would think I was a pansy! It's crazy to see the incision because you wonder how the heck they got the kidney out of there! That is how small they are. So the incisions aren't the problem--the air is. (Well, and the ab muscles they had to cut through).

If it weren't for Ryan staying by my side 24/7 in the hospital to lift me out of bed every 15 minutes, take me on walks, tell me everythings gonna be okay when I cried, rub my back etc, it would have been awful. He had to sleep on the bench they have there and those are not comfortable. So, I am just bragging about my awesome husband. He is the best and has been literally by my side since Thursday. I now get separation anxiety when he's not around me. He has been through a lot and has had to deal with a lot of emotions, pressure, stress--and has not complained once.

As for my mommy, I am getting all choked up now writing this. I miss her dearly and so wish I could be there at the hospital with her. I am glad to report that she has done so great the last few days--her blood pressure is under control, the bleeding has stopped and the kidney is doing awesome. She has been moved out of the shock/trauma ICU to the transplant unit (where we both were at first). When I went to say goodbye to her yesterday in ICU, she looked so good. She was sitting up in a chair, making jokes and was just like the Paula we all know. We brought in the laptop so she could read the comments everyone had written. She was so touched by the many people who had commented on the blog. She wanted me to tell everyone that the support we have is so incredible and that she is so appreciative. She thanks everyone for their thoughts and prayers and says it means the world to her to have so many rooting for us. She teared up.

I just want to also echo what my mom said. At this point I can't give names because we have had tremendous support from so many. You all have been absolutely wonderful and there is truly no way to express my gratitude for being blessed with such loving friends and family. To those who were with my mom in ICU around the clock, and those who came to visit and brought gifts and flowers to us, for all your thoughts and prayers, to those who sat with me as I cried, to those bringing in meals, and to those who took care of my hubby through all of this. To people who have written their comments on the blog and everyone who has willingly and lovingly taken my little girl in their care. All moms out there know it is hard to leave your child and never once did I worry about her. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

My mom is the most wonderful lady whose strengh continues to amaze me. She has been through so much with this process, especially on Thursday night and it is hard for me (as it must be for everyone) to even comprehend what it must be like for her. One thing I do know for sure is that there is a reason why my mom is still here. I couldn't be more grateful to my Heavenly Father--I know we (and mom especially) were absolutely not alone through any of this...we certainly had his help and have been very much watched over and blessed. This is by far the most humbling experience I have ever been though, one that will never be forgotten.

Steph